Tuning into other's feelings and needs is often easier than it is to tune into ourselves.
Listening with empathy involves hearing the story someone is sharing and tuning into the feeling they are expressing verbally or non-verbally.
When you are upset, listen to the story you are telling yourself. Identify the initial reaction and feelings you had. Deepen this awareness by asking yourself " and what else do I feel?" also notice what is going on in your body. Name it. For example - tense, tired, agitated.
Take the time to validate your emotional and physical experience and respond kindly to yourself.